Disclaimer: This blog is not a substitute for seeking a trained counselor. It reflects my personal experiences and healing jourmey. I am not a trained counselor.
When we were children, our parents and other important adults served as mirrors for us. They taught us who we were by the ways they "mirrored" reality for us.
If neglect, abuse or criticism were what we experienced as children, then we are likely to see ourselves in negative ways as adults. Neglect can make children feel they are unimportant. Criticism can make children feel they are never good enough or only valuable if they achieve perfection. Abuse can make children feel powerless or that something must be terrible wrong with them.
To change the distorted images of ourselves we need a frame of reference outside of ourselves to compare our negative self-image. Healing can begin when we allow ourselves to see ourselves as God sees us. God's point of view is independent of our own. God can "mirror" reality for us.
Because of our abuse, we also may have distorted images of God. But the good news is that God does not neglect or criticize or abuse. God is a parent who loves, respects and values us. God can provide a new and very different kind of mirror for us. As we gradually internalize the attitudes God has toward us, we will find ourselves thinking and feeling about ourselves in new ways.
Do you feel precious to God? The word of God says you are.
We ALL long to be cared about — to make a difference — to matter to someone. We all go through trials, which the word of God says is for a purpose. We live in a fallen world. Very few people escape some kind of rejection. Some people experience unimaginable suffering — the sins of other people harm us, sometimes destroy us.
Man has free will, and God does not always intervene. Contrary to society’s thinking that people are basically good, the Bible teaches that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Left to ourselves, we all sin —lie, cheat, steal and worse.
When we are harmed by people who were supposed to cherish us, it especially can convey to us that we are not loved. And it can make us think that even God rejects us.
But we need to choose to believe what the word of God says and not contradict it with our own feelings.
God can redeem everything. No matter what it looks like.
What is my self image?
- Filled with shame/always apologizing
- Guilt ridden
- Fearful/unsafe
- Wounded/broken
- Unloved
- A victim
- Bitter
- Angry
But the Bible Says I Am:
Ephesians 2:4-5 — Dearly loved
"...because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."
Philippians 4:13 — Capable
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Psalm 139:14 — Fearfully and wonderfully made
“I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Romans 8:1 — Not condemned
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 11:29 — Secure
“For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”
John 1:12 — A child of God
“But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.”
Colossians 1:14 — Forgiven
“…in whom we have our redemption, the forgiveness of our sins…”
2 Corinthians 1:3-6 — Comforted
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
Suggested prayer that Billy Graham suggested for those seeking to accept Christ and receive salvation:
“Dear God, I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Suggested Prayer from a Devotion by Darlene Sala
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2015/02/03/you-are-more-precious-than-diamonds
God, I don’t feel lovable. No matter how hard I try, I mess things up and end up feeling guilty and unlovable. But today I’m going to take a chance on You. I’m going to assume You really mean it when You say I am precious in Your sight, and You love me. I throw myself into Your arms. Thank You, thank You for a love that is bigger than all my mistakes. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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